Car experts... AKA BSers

[ian_83]

We all know one. Someone who thinks they know everything about cars but come out with such utter bollocks you want to hit them in the face with a hammer. My latest one was a guy doing some work for us. I was talking to him for a bit, into cars, seemed OK until he told me what he had.

Mk4 Golf GTTDI running 450bhp and AWD.... Err yeah mate, sure you do. Then he told me how he almost got a job with Paul/Russ Swift after he did a driving experience day and was better then all the instructors. Oh yeah, was his first time too.

[BWanderers]

A Veeeerrry long time ago, prat in pub was telling the less than interested peeps around him that when 'extending' his 2.0 Cortina, (I did say a very LONG time ago didn't I) he only changed to 3rd gear when he saw 90MPH on the clock.


Choice.

R.

[Chavbo]

Still the best one I've had was a 'customer' telling me about this mental time attack 200SX he had with Rays wheels, I asked him if he had any pics of it. He showed me Quail's car.

[Quail]

Wish you'd called him out on it!

I once had an acquaintance telling me about Mazda's brand new rotary engine technology when the RX8 came out. I tried explaining that the RX8 wasn't the first rotary powered vehicle. He wasn't having it.

[AdDaMan]

lol, quality. I love these tools. You always get them.

[Mark]

Anyone remember a certain yellow S13 running 450bhp on a T28

When quized on how it was possible the answer was 'because it can'

[ANDY black s13]

The most common one to this day is still 'my mates got a @&$%£ car and with just a chip its power increased 200% or some crazy amount,recent case in point mate of a mate had Ford Probe (Anal probe) 175 bhp 2.5 v6 (Auto sack of cold cat sick) chipped made 350!!!,
Normally football/beer/builder/bricklayer types in the pub bla bla bla Feck tards ,Its easier to just agree with 'Wow bet that went well' than try explain it can't happen

[ANDY black s13]

Anyone remember a certain yellow S13 running 450bhp on a T28

When quized on how it was possible the answer was 'because it can'

No I dont???? I want to see a link to this please, sounds like good reading material

[Mark]

This was a JAE conversation but the car itself is infamous on here

[piman2k]

The AA man that we recently bumped into was a diamond. 2 hours of telling us everything we didn't know about cars, such as:

• Evo X vehicles used by doctors are tuned to do over 200mph
• Ferrari's in the 80's were around 2,000bhp
• When his old Holden broke down, the ONLY courtesy car at the dealership available was a Ferrari

It was very difficult not to laugh, but we had to play along (and bait him) for fear of being dumped at the road side

[ANDY black s13]

This was a JAE conversation but the car itself is infamous on here

So this was alcohol inflated figure's then,more beer=more power same as my 'in the pub' theory then

[ANDY black s13]

The AA man that we recently bumped into was a diamond. 2 hours of telling us everything we didn't know about cars, such as:

• Evo X vehicles used by doctors are tuned to do over 200mph
• Ferrari's in the 80's were around 2,000bhp
• When his old Holden broke down, the ONLY courtesy car at the dealership available was a Ferrari

It was very difficult not to laugh, but we had to play along (and bait him) for fear of being dumped at the road side

Should of had a voice recording going could have played along getting some real motoring facts and figure's from him as he sounds like a true expert as all the AA crew are and proven daily,
And Why would a doctor need a 200mph evo X ?? Don't ambulances do that job a bit better than a lone doctor in red mist warp factor mode arriving in 2 seconds with a bag of plasters and some sterile wipes

[Jonny Wilkinson]

Anyone remember a certain yellow S13 running 450bhp on a T28

When quized on how it was possible the answer was 'because it can'

I thought the answer was "because race car"

[ANDY black s13]

The AA man that we recently bumped into was a diamond. 2 hours of telling us everything we didn't know about cars, such as:

• Evo X vehicles used by doctors are tuned to do over 200mph
• Ferrari's in the 80's were around 2,000bhp
• When his old Holden broke down, the ONLY courtesy car at the dealership available was a Ferrari

It was very difficult not to laugh, but we had to play along (and bait him) for fear of being dumped at the road side

Should of had a voice recording going could have played along getting some real motoring facts and figure's from him as he sounds like a true expert as all the AA crew are and proven daily,
And Why would a doctor need a 200mph evo X ?? Don't ambulances do that job a bit better than a lone doctor in red mist warp factor mode arriving in 2 seconds with a bag of plasters and some sterile wipes

[arry]

So this was alcohol inflated figure's then,more beer=more power same as my 'in the pub' theory then

No, the guy didn't drink IIRC, he had some disabilities and no I don't just mean being 'special'.

The car itself was known as Yellow Peril - search it out on here and you'll find some interesting pics I'd have thought. Highlights included the VCR player moulded into the back shelf and the HKS front intercooler that was actually from a Frontera and had some black paint applied to it to spell out HKS...

One of the favourite stories about this car is the day he decided to show off coming out of the HWH meet and nailed it sideways into a post office van before driving off

[Steve_20085]

My mate had a hideous FTO in his paint shop about 3 months ago, the bloke was an utter knob!
Apparently the Fto is awd, it also has the same engine as an evo. He put an induction kit on it, it apparently now tops out at 185mph instead of the 165mph it did when standard.
The cheap £99 eBay bucket seats he put in, they make it go faster round corners. The best one was his lightweight racing alloys that cost £2k! (standard alloys with badly applied rim tape!)

The list is just endless

The pile of crap in question looks like this.
Judge for yourself.

[voodoo_melon]

No, the guy didn't drink IIRC, he had some disabilities and no I don't just mean being 'special'.

The car itself was known as Yellow Peril - search it out on here and you'll find some interesting pics I'd have thought. Highlights included the VCR player moulded into the back shelf and the HKS front intercooler that was actually from a Frontera and had some black paint applied to it to spell out HKS...

One of the favourite stories about this car is the day he decided to show off coming out of the HWH meet and nailed it sideways into a post office van before driving off

After a quick search a found I pic with it lurking in the background. Iirc it had a home-made bodykit too. And yellow overspray on everything. It really was hideous and is a part of SXOC history.



-Edit-

Here's another one...

[arry]

After a quick search a found I pic with it lurking in the background. Iirc it had a home-made bodykit too. And yellow overspray on everything. It really was hideous and is a part of SXOC history.

I remember there being rumours the guy ended up in nick for doing some bad things, ie the type of bad things you don't wish to repeat.

[ANDY black s13]

I remember there being rumours the guy ended up in nick for doing some bad things, ie the type of bad things you don't wish to repeat.

Murder,Rape,Incest,necrophilia ? possibly as he seemed to have 'Rapped' that 13 good and proper,
And wish I'd been at HWH when he slapped it onto the post office van that must have been comedy gold

[ANDY black s13]

My mate had a hideous FTO in his paint shop about 3 months ago, the bloke was an utter knob!
Apparently the Fto is awd, it also has the same engine as an evo. He put an induction kit on it, it apparently now tops out at 185mph instead of the 165mph it did when standard.
The cheap £99 eBay bucket seats he put in, they make it go faster round corners. The best one was his lightweight racing alloys that cost £2k! (standard alloys with badly applied rim tape!)

The list is just endless

The pile of crap in question looks like this.
Judge for yourself.

They look like 16's and its a non sporto autospastic,yeah they are well known to be the 'really' fast one's and 4wd??? wtf,heard of imports with the early evo lancer motor but 4wd , And wtf that steering wheel looks like its from kids toy car covered in glitter and tinsel lol